1. |
Calaboose
03:22
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written 9/30/2017
recorded 1/4/2020
Calaboose
Got off work and could not go home
Sick at the thought of a Friday alone
Bought a paperback that I already owned
Wandered downtown with nowhere to go
Sat and read at the brewery park
Until I remembered you’d be there at dark
To watch a movie outside on a sheet
One I think you might have already seen
Packed up for a bar on the square
As it happened, Jake’s last night there
He hugged me hard and poured me a shot
Bought me a beer, too busy to talk
As the warm glow came on
Unfamiliar now that I’m older
And as I found myself lost in thought
I was surprised
Should feel devastated
But I'm just tired
Should feel sad and anxious
But I'm tapped out
Don't know if I can do this again
Barely have the energy to see my friends
Take your time to decide, take me back or don’t
Throw me in the water, see if I float
You’d been sick, you’d had a cold
I offered soup but you said no
You were crying on your couch
Shaking voice said what about
You’d been overworked, for sure
Teaching, reading, writing papers
Had not set us back before
But somehow something’s different now…
When you reach your breaking point
Fingers flat refuse to key
When once we’d do things we enjoy
The last thing you want now is me
I’d arrived feeling great
Excited to tell you about my day
I did not expect last night
To be second-worst one of my life
And now here I am
Sitting outside Calaboose Museum
Sobbing like boy straight into my phone
Telling my mom I should have known
Should feel devastated
And I do, I was lying
Livid, sad, exhausted
All conflated
I would leave, I would move
I would share a house with you
Clear the clutter in your wake
Lie next to you in the grave
Don't know if I can do this again
Don’t even have the fortitude to face my friends
Take your time to decide, love me back or don’t
Throw me in the water, see if I walk on top
Throw me in the water, see if I walk on top
Throw me in the water, see if I walk on top
Or not
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2. |
GMT+2
03:39
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GMT+2
written 10/15/2017
recorded 1/1/2020
Things start feeling strange
As my waking hours wane
And the sun is coming up for you
By the Seine
Made it through the day
Pushed right on in vain
Then decompose as the memories
Just replay
Wondering what’s on your mind
Wondering where I stand
When you come home
I demand to know if I’m your man
GMT+2
Does your room have a view?
And does the last time we spoke haunt you too?
You just needed space
I’d say you got it, babe
Four thousand, five hundred miles by plane
Wondering what’s on your mind
Wondering where I stand
When you come home
I demand to know if I’m your man
You don’t need a provider
You earned all that you have
You don’t need a protector
But I’ll be there if you ask
And if you’d like some warmth in the night
I can give you that
Wondering what’s on your mind
Wondering where I stand
When you come home
I’ll beg, I’ll plead to get to stay your man
You were crushed by a liar
A sinister soul in the past
I cannot help you recover
Believe in a love that will last
But when you’d like more than warmth in the night
Believe I can give you that
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3. |
Wild Uncle
03:24
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Wild Uncle
written summer 2015 for Wild Bob's Musical Book Club
recorded 12/16/2019
inspired by A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
You’re the little brother but I’m the small one
Words from your tongue each carefully chosen
My wretched mouth when opened up only drools poison
But someday you may find you need my love
In your wraithlike shadow
I reside throughout our earthly time
I long to cast a shadow
Deep, and wide, and only mine
Should any dare speak ill of you
Then me they all must answer to
And if words should come to blows
Then I would gladly bear a bruise
Somehow you pulled ahead in school
And I fell far behind
Made our parents proud of you
While I just made them worry right
Things have gotten better in the last few years or so
You’ll be a daughter’s father soon
And I will be her wild uncle
I will pull you from the dark
Or pull the darkness from you
Return us to our father’s arms
Those vestiges of refuge
for Jeffrey
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