Calaboose

by Sister City

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1.
Calaboose 03:22
written 9/30/2017 recorded 1/4/2020 Calaboose Got off work and could not go home Sick at the thought of a Friday alone Bought a paperback that I already owned Wandered downtown with nowhere to go Sat and read at the brewery park Until I remembered you’d be there at dark To watch a movie outside on a sheet One I think you might have already seen Packed up for a bar on the square As it happened, Jake’s last night there He hugged me hard and poured me a shot Bought me a beer, too busy to talk As the warm glow came on Unfamiliar now that I’m older And as I found myself lost in thought I was surprised Should feel devastated But I'm just tired Should feel sad and anxious But I'm tapped out Don't know if I can do this again Barely have the energy to see my friends Take your time to decide, take me back or don’t Throw me in the water, see if I float You’d been sick, you’d had a cold I offered soup but you said no You were crying on your couch Shaking voice said what about You’d been overworked, for sure Teaching, reading, writing papers Had not set us back before But somehow something’s different now… When you reach your breaking point Fingers flat refuse to key When once we’d do things we enjoy The last thing you want now is me I’d arrived feeling great Excited to tell you about my day I did not expect last night To be second-worst one of my life And now here I am Sitting outside Calaboose Museum Sobbing like boy straight into my phone Telling my mom I should have known Should feel devastated And I do, I was lying Livid, sad, exhausted All conflated I would leave, I would move I would share a house with you Clear the clutter in your wake Lie next to you in the grave Don't know if I can do this again Don’t even have the fortitude to face my friends Take your time to decide, love me back or don’t Throw me in the water, see if I walk on top Throw me in the water, see if I walk on top Throw me in the water, see if I walk on top Or not
2.
GMT+2 03:39
GMT+2 written 10/15/2017 recorded 1/1/2020 Things start feeling strange As my waking hours wane And the sun is coming up for you By the Seine Made it through the day Pushed right on in vain Then decompose as the memories Just replay Wondering what’s on your mind Wondering where I stand When you come home I demand to know if I’m your man GMT+2 Does your room have a view? And does the last time we spoke haunt you too? You just needed space I’d say you got it, babe Four thousand, five hundred miles by plane Wondering what’s on your mind Wondering where I stand When you come home I demand to know if I’m your man You don’t need a provider You earned all that you have You don’t need a protector But I’ll be there if you ask And if you’d like some warmth in the night I can give you that Wondering what’s on your mind Wondering where I stand When you come home I’ll beg, I’ll plead to get to stay your man You were crushed by a liar A sinister soul in the past I cannot help you recover Believe in a love that will last But when you’d like more than warmth in the night Believe I can give you that
3.
Wild Uncle 03:24
Wild Uncle written summer 2015 for Wild Bob's Musical Book Club recorded 12/16/2019 inspired by A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle You’re the little brother but I’m the small one Words from your tongue each carefully chosen My wretched mouth when opened up only drools poison But someday you may find you need my love In your wraithlike shadow I reside throughout our earthly time I long to cast a shadow Deep, and wide, and only mine Should any dare speak ill of you Then me they all must answer to And if words should come to blows Then I would gladly bear a bruise Somehow you pulled ahead in school And I fell far behind Made our parents proud of you While I just made them worry right Things have gotten better in the last few years or so You’ll be a daughter’s father soon And I will be her wild uncle I will pull you from the dark Or pull the darkness from you Return us to our father’s arms Those vestiges of refuge for Jeffrey

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released January 6, 2020

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Sister City Springfield, Missouri

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